Hosting an event can be a great way to spend time with friends and family. However, some hosts make the mistake of asking guests to bring certain items that are considered rude and inconsiderate.
Etiquette experts warn that these requests can make your guests feel uncomfortable and put unnecessary pressure on them. Below, we’ll explore the rudest things to ask guests to bring and what you should do instead.
1. Asking Guests to Bring Expensive Items
- Why It’s Rude: Asking guests to bring expensive gifts or high-priced items, especially for casual gatherings, can make them feel uncomfortable. Not everyone can afford to buy expensive gifts, and this request can create an awkward social dynamic.
- What To Do Instead: If you want to exchange gifts, opt for thoughtful, affordable presents that don’t put a financial burden on anyone. Alternatively, consider organizing a gift-free event if the occasion doesn’t call for gifts at all.
2. Requesting Monetary Contributions
- Why It’s Rude: Asking guests to pay for dinner, drinks, or party supplies during a casual event is considered bad form. Etiquette experts advise that the host should take responsibility for covering event costs.
- What To Do Instead: As the host, cover the costs yourself or make sure the event is affordable. If you’re on a budget, inform your guests in advance that the event will be low-cost and give them an opportunity to contribute without feeling pressured.
3. Asking Guests to Bring a Dish You Can’t Prepare Yourself
- Why It’s Rude: Asking guests to bring a specific dish because the host is too busy or unable to prepare it themselves is often seen as inconsiderate. Guests may feel like they are expected to take on the host’s responsibilities.
- What To Do Instead: If you’re hosting a potluck or a meal-sharing event, encourage guests to bring whatever they’d like to share. This way, the responsibility is shared, and no one feels forced to prepare something they don’t want to.
4. Expecting Guests to Bring Alcoholic Beverages
- Why It’s Rude: Asking guests to bring alcoholic drinks is often viewed as rude, especially if not all of your guests drink. It can create discomfort for those who prefer non-alcoholic beverages or for those who can’t afford to bring a bottle of wine or liquor.
- What To Do Instead: The host should provide a variety of drinks, including both alcoholic and non-alcoholic options. This ensures that all guests feel comfortable and catered to, regardless of their drinking preferences.
5. Requesting Personal or Household Items as Gifts
- Why It’s Rude: It’s considered rude to ask guests to bring gifts that are meant for the host’s personal use, such as household goods or personal care items. This request can come across as selfish, as it shifts the focus from the guests to the host’s personal needs.
- What To Do Instead: If you have a registry for special events like weddings or baby showers, that’s appropriate. Otherwise, don’t make the event about acquiring personal items. Instead, focus on creating a memorable experience for your guests.
6. Asking Guests to Bring Decorations or Party Favors
- Why It’s Rude: Asking guests to bring decorations or party favors takes away from the host’s responsibilities and puts an unnecessary burden on them. Guests should not feel like they are part of the event’s planning or hosting duties.
- What To Do Instead: The host should take care of setting up the decorations and planning party favors. If you’re on a budget, consider DIY decorations or simple, thoughtful touches that don’t require guests to contribute to the event’s setup.
| Request | Why It’s Rude | Alternative |
|---|---|---|
| Expensive gifts or high-priced items | Makes guests feel uncomfortable and pressured. | Provide thoughtful, affordable gifts. |
| Monetary contributions for a casual event | Puts an undue financial burden on guests. | Cover the costs or keep the event affordable. |
| Dishes they can’t prepare themselves | Guests may feel like they’re doing the work. | Let guests bring what they’re comfortable with. |
| Alcoholic beverages | Not everyone drinks alcohol, creating discomfort. | Provide both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. |
| Personal gifts or household items | Seen as selfish and self-serving. | Keep the focus on the event, not personal needs. |
| Items like decorations or party favors | Shifts hosting duties to guests. | Host should take care of decorations and favors. |
Being a considerate host involves planning ahead and taking on the responsibilities of organizing the event. Asking guests to bring expensive items, money, or personal gifts can make them feel uncomfortable and put undue pressure on them.
Etiquette experts recommend that hosts plan events with guests in mind, ensuring everyone feels comfortable and welcome. Instead of putting guests on the spot, the host should provide a variety of options, create an inclusive atmosphere, and make the gathering about enjoying each other’s company.
FAQs
1. Is it rude to ask guests to bring expensive items?
Yes, it can make guests feel uncomfortable, especially if they can’t afford high-priced items. It’s better to keep gifts thoughtful but affordable.
2. Can I ask guests to contribute money for a casual event?
It’s generally seen as rude for a casual event. The host should cover the costs or ensure the event is budget-friendly.
3. Should I ask guests to bring specific dishes to a potluck?
It’s okay to ask for a dish, but avoid asking guests to bring a specific dish because you’re unable to make it yourself. Let them choose something they’d like to bring.
